the juicy lucy

bonjourno hamburglers,

i’m back with a doozy of a burger! this one, found in the illusive h-files from an undisclosed location only for those privy to.

because of my disclosure agreement, the only thing i can rightfully convey  is that the juicy lucy is believed to have been invented in Minneapolis. the claim is made by two restaurants that are located right across the street from each other. no one is certain of who first named the burger….well, except the respective owners and in trying to prove distinct ownership one restaurant spells it ‘jucy’ and the other spells it ‘juicy’.  this didn’t help to prove or dispel any notions of ownership. this became a classic case of the chicken and the egg so, to this day the controversy still scorches on.

mystery cheese substance

ok, so what is the juicy lucy and is it a part of some lament conspiracy quieted for years? what is its ultimate purpose? is it meant for good or evil? you be the judge.

juicy is a cheeseburger with lots of cheese crammed in the center of the hamburger instead of on top.  sounds ok…i guess, what’s the big deal?

as i dig a little deeper i begin to feel unsettled and anxious….unusal right? my research has revealed to me something shocking and amazing.  these fromage filled patties were fashioned as training implements for weapons testing by the military (that’s all i can say about that aspect) but…unseen to the untrained, naked eye awaited a surprise that could, if nothing else, leave you with a face full of scorching hot greasy cheese.  i joke not, hamburglers!

the unassuming person would hunker in for that first big bite…..and….HOLY HOT HAMBURGERS BATMAN!….the first bite creates an explosion of catastrophic proportions which is caused by a build up of atomic and pro-tonic energy inside the burger. sounds scary yes, so image if that was your lovely and delicate face behind this potentially disastrous h-bomb.
now, mystery surrounds the juicy. the more we know, the more questions we have. cloaked in a shroud of secrecy, the juicy will always be a mystery.

was the experiment successful? was it’s purpose to somehow expose those who may be a threat?

is it a form of communication only decoded by those in the know? why cheddar, is it found to really scorch the skin better than swiss or mozzarella?

the exploding burgerthese and many more questions may never be answered in our time but this is why it’s important to continue to document these strange occurrences for future researchers. one day we will know the truth! stay vigilant!

eddie murphy’s hamburger story

bonjour hamburglers,

today circus of burgers has a treat for you!  no, you can’t eat it, but you will enjoy the sideshow aspect of it. man of the 80′s 90′s, comedian extraordinaire, eddie murphy and his tres tight, cow skin wears was at the time, literally, king of comedy.  i’ve howled to ‘delirious’ and ripped a gut watching ‘raw’ and even now as the years have affected the way we view things….well ed, (i can call him that), has the same comedic prowess he commanded in the late 80′s.

so, step right up…and have a laugh!

by the way…it may be a black thing but I swear it’s pretty much the same way my mama made burgers when I was wee.

The Luther Burger….why?

ola, dear hamburglers,

during my truth seeking journey, i will undoubtedly encounter fascinating and odd actualities along the way that may help me understand the unending and unshakable hold, this thing we happily named the hamburger, has over us.

i have unearthed, what is called the ‘luther burger’, an unnerving oddity, that upon site, has be known to make  ordinary men & women abandon all intelligence and the most basic of  morals.  is it the work of uncontrollable influence? is it something outside of our comprehension? some have speculated that the luther burger may possess the soul of ….wait for it….the devil.

but what in heavens name is the luther burger?

the luther is a burger fashioned with sticky, sweet glazed donuts as buns. yes, i said that right….dooooonuttttssss! 

usually made with krispy creme donuts…mmmmm!

 

 

it just might be the devils work….

so who invented this abomination?

speculated-alien among us...not confirmed information

"hail satan, you're burger-donut is working. soon they will be ours!"

 

 

 

 

well, the legend tells us that this dessert-dinner combo was invented by or for the late great soul singer, luther vandross. he was a superstar in the eighties and sold over 30 million albums worldwide.

the question is..why?

 

 

we may never uncover the truth about this oddity. whether it was created for him or by him….why donuts? what does the burger-donut signify? could the burger-donut be responsible for man’s downturn? are there aliens among us?..and what of the power donuts have over most law enforcement….hmmm food for thought, literally.

what i do know is that this phenomenon has spread  rapidly throughout america and could be making its way to canada…so please go and eat safe eh!

it may already be among us